Here’s our Community Rule Book!

OneTantra encourages you to relate to others in the community from your heart, moment- to-moment, free of past reactions and future projections and always with the service of their hearts first and foremost.

We are here to encounter each other as divine beings, each moving toward wholeness, healing and love.

We encourage the creation of human connections based on acceptance, compassion and understanding. Simply put, we ask you to follow these three basic rules:

#1 - Always tell the truth about yourself
#2 - Always come from the heart
#3 - Actively make peace wherever conflict may arise

In spirited debates, by brilliant and emotionally expressive people, feelings sometimes get hurt. To counteract the tendency in electronic media to lash out from the safety of your home computer (!), we request that you always - always - foster compassionate relating and a consciousness of interdependence. This starts by transcending any desires to judge other people’s truths! If we can make an enlightened community work here, it could provide a model for the rest of the Internet… and the world.

When you use your power – whether it be of wisdom or a talent with language – please use it as a peacemaker, and a bringer of love — and encourage others to work together harmoniously. If you find yourself getting angry, instead of responding with a snide or sarcastic remark, breathe and allow yourself to go through this cycle:

Step 1: Observe the situation
Step 2: Ask yourself, “what am I feeling?”
Step 3: Ask yourself, “what need do I have that is not being fulfilled?”
Step 4: Ask yourself, “what request should I make?”
Step 5: Ask your request, from truth and from compassion for yourself and for others.

This is the basic process of Marshall Rosenberg’s non-violent communications framework, which must remain a bedrock of our OneTantra Community.

Please take caution that you don’t use NVC to manipulate others (”with great power comes great responsibility.” NVC is about creating a quality of connection that gets everyone’s needs met - not just your own - through compassionate interaction.

OneTantra is provides you with a safe, playful space and opportunity to actively practice NVC skills, and to transform a language of criticism, blame, and demand into a language of well being and the well being of our community.

Our community will therefore follow these Eightfold Rules:

(1) Because we tell the truth, this is a REAL NAME community. To insure this, we take credit card authorizations to verify identity, and ask that you stand in your real name and your real face with others. And be honest about your relationship status, please. However, we notice that this is sometimes scary to do, so we’ll let you have some time to build trust before you reveal your real name. If you're going to use a symbolic photo until you trust us, please use something that reflects your spiritual nature and not some body part.

(2) Because we come from the heart, and also, because one of the unspoken rules is that every time you log in - you should try to meet and connect with someone you don’t know yet, you will find people coming up to you from out of the blue and wanting to be pals. Please play along with us and open your heart to those approaching you.

(3) Because we strive to make peace actively, before agreeing or disagreeing with anyone’s opinions, try to tune in to what that person is feeling and needing. If a conversation turns negative, community moderators might come by and help make peace. Also, if we are alerted, that you might be coming from an urge to dominate or hurt from your head — or, inappropriately, from your pants… we’ll issue a formal warning. To insure a safe environment, only two warnings will be issued before we may ask members who exhibit destructive behavior to leave.

(4) Because we’re a tantric community, instead of instinctively saying “No” when your triggers are triggered, look inside first to see what need of yours is prohibiting you from saying, “Yes” to life fully lived (this is not the same thing as saying “yes” to the needs of another person!)

(5) If you are feeling upset, think about what need of yours is not being met, and what you, your interlocutor, or the directing staff of One Tantra could do to help you meet it, instead of thinking about what’s wrong with others or yourself.

(6) Instead of praise or flattery, express gratitude.

(7) Every word expressed within the community should be considered absolutely private and must remain within the community, unless explicit permission is given. Please don’t gossip outside the community with what people share within, and please refrain from showing conversations that occur within the community to people outside the community. We must, must respect the safe container of the One Trantra Social Community.

(8) Our faculty is very busy (and sometimes on retreat, and sometimes traveling) and so may not be able to respond to you immediately. In fact, they’re only asked to come by a minimum of once a month to play with you. However, since we have a large faculty, there’s usually someone around to interact with you. Feel free to write our Faculty members any time — and if you don’t hear back within a week or so, please alert one of the Directors and we will pass your note along.

Don’t forget, when we share from the heart, in truth and with loving kindness, a kind of joy springs forth that enriches all of our lives. When we start reacting emotionally or getting intellectual about this, it eventually leads to fear, guilt, shame, and a desire for gain. So always, take a moment, re-center, and come from the heart!

And that’s it! Thanks for abiding by these rules!

We have great trust and great faith in the members of this community, and will only intercede when we are alerted to breaking of these rules, whether intentional or unintentional.

With great respect and love,

The OneTantra Team